Our pastor shared this graph during his sermon last Sunday. The $438 BILLION DOLLARS represents consumer spending in this country in November and December this year. The other three bars show what it would cost to eliminate the most devasting problems facing our world population:  clean water, hunger and poverty.

It’s shameful ya’ll, it breaks my heart. How can such a small population have such a disproportionate amount of the wealth? How long can we keep this up despite the fact that it is wrong for so many reasons.

We have to do something different, we can’t keep this up. I don’t want to overspend this year. I don’t want to set an example of over-consumption for my kids. And I want to feel good about addressing the issue in the graph above, rather than just turning a blind eye to this gross inequity.

So after the jump, the why and how of doing something different this year.

You can’t afford it

Do you budget for Christmas? Do you plan for it and set money aside? We never have. We just let it happen to us. Every year. The funny thing is, when you don’t plan for something, you don’t set limits and guidelines. And when you don’t set limits and guidelines, you are making decisions on the spot, under pressure, on a whim. The stores are designed to exploit all these weaknesses, by dazzling and overwhelming you with choices and “good deals.” If you are making decisions in the store, you will buy more and spend more. And most of us are shopping like that. You know its true.

Mr. Applebum and I are pretty responsible spenders, yet December still managed to give us this attitude of entitlement: We work so hard, this is our chance to spoil the kids. And ourselves. And those we love. And then January rolls around and the bills pour in. And all those rationalizations seem ridiculous and it’s so clear that we could have done without most of it. Yet fast forward eleven months and there we are again. We haven’t planned nor budgeted for Christmas and we have worked so hard….

You are setting a bad example for your kids

When did we decide that Christmas had to be this orgiastic toy experience for children? It’s not enough to get one toy or a few toys.  We picture that sort of commercial moment where the kids run in on Christmas morning and they can’t believe their eyes. Like the big reveal in Extreme Makeover Home Edition, it’s only a good Christmas if your kids loses their mind with joy over the great toys.

Yeah, it’s fun to see your kid like that, but what are you teaching them? That more is better? That we love you so much we got you all this? That you are entitled to all these consumer goods as a birthright? I’m sorry if that makes you feel bad, but that graph above makes me feel terrible. We have to see this problem for what it is.  How many kids in the world will get a Christmas as nice as ours? Let alone a lifetime of Christmases, filled with so much more than we could ever want or need.

So how about this year you buy two or three toys and then just stop.  Can’t our kids think two great toys are enough? Use the rest of the money for toys or clothes to donate, or to buy a heifer from Heifer International, or to donate to any of the HUNDREDS of worthy causes that are trying to address these gross inequities.

Here’s what we are doing this year

We are setting limits and strictly enforcing them. We are doing $100 per kid and set the same limit on our gifts for each other. I’ve got the kids shopping almost done, it really doesn’t take long to spend a hundred bucks. I will admit, the small little pile of presents looks pretty sad to me. This new way is going to take some getting used to for us all.

The way to keep us honest is no credit cards, only debit purchases. That’s new this year, but it’s long overdue. I make a list of who I am shopping for and go in with limits and ideas. It’s better for me to do multiple short sessions, than one or two mammoth expeditions.

Replace bad habits with good

All the money I used to spend on gifts for the grandparents is now donated to a cause they would feel good about. In the past they have donated art supplies to the boys and girls club, fulfilled an elderly persons Christmas wish list, supplied holiday meals for local families and bought stoves for families in Central America. This year, I will be donating to tent city 3 in their name.

The kids and I will  make the grandparents a Christmas gift, something simple and easy. (I asked for ideas on facebook:) This year I am going to get the kids involved in holiday baking. We are also taking the kids to church this Saturday to kick-off the advent season with the story of Christmas. Hopefully, it will help us to keep the spirit of the season in our hearts throughout this month. My goal is to make every day of the season meaningful and peaceful. Or as our pastor put it: Give presence, not presents.

I decided to take Cosmic Mama’s advice and get pro-active about bringing holiday joy into our home. So as she recommended, I got the Christmas lights out and made it a family project to decorate for the holidays.

That's me out there on the ladder.

I hung the lights inside the house and it looked pretty good. In a fit of goodwill towards Mr. Applebum, I decided to start the outside lights.

That’s when everything got dicey. For one thing, sunset is before 4:30 here, so it started getting dark quickly. There are also ladders involved and I’m never confident on ladders. And I was hanging lights on one of our itchier evergreens (I actually know all our pine trees well, this is one of the more difficult ones to work with) hence his new nickname: Itchy McRasherson. And did I mention it started raining?!

Needless to say, it did not go well. The ladder was slick and dangerous, I almost fell twice. I persisted out of sheer stubborn obstinence, but when I plugged the lights in to see how all my hard work looked, only half the lights were working. It was than, as I was angrily tugging down the lights, in the dark and rainy weather, while standing on a wet ladder, that I started feeling like  Clark Griswold.

And I can’t post clips from this classic holiday movie without including this scene. I remember the first time I saw this in college, I laughed for a half hour. As you should know by now, I have a very silly sense of humor and Clark Griswold is right up my alley. Enjoy!

Happy Black Friday Ya’ll! Please do anything, ANYTHING besides shop!

I’m so ready for everyone to get home so we can get this holiday weekend started RIGHT. I have started celebrating, but at the moment, it is a party for one. So I decided to take it to the interwebz. So we can all be alone together while we get holiday going. So whether you are packing, traveling, cleaning, cooking, working or denying, won’t you please join me? I have picked this as our Thanksgiving kick off party theme song. This is a great ass shaker, no matter what you are doing.

Would LOVE to hear from you in the comments section. Let’s hear what you are thankful for. Allow me to begin:

I am thankful for everyone of you who reads this blog. I am so honored that people like to hear what I have to say. After years of complaining about all the negativity in the media, it is so powerful to be able to put something positive out there. And the fact that you read it and respond to it, makes my heart so happy.

I would also like to thank Ian, a pasty, funky scot limey [don't ever call him a scot - editor] who turned me on to this clip. I’ve never been able to get Boo ya tribe and now finally, yes I can.

So after the jump, a hip hop video that references Seinfeld. It will make you smile and shake what your mama gave ya.

Say hello to Wale

This is the other song that got me out of my chair this morning. I’m really digging Wale, a rapper out of the DC area. This video is so much fun, I love how silly he is, the Seinfield shout out is so unexpected! So crank it up and dance it out. Because it time to get grateful ya’ll.

I have been way too in my head lately. The fact that I checked out some super heavy books from the library isn’t helping anything. I have got to shake this one off and get my head around the holiday that is quickly approaching. So this weekend while everyone is packing, traveling, shopping, cleaning and planning, I am going to be blogging with one purpose in mind: get happy for the holidays. So let’s begin with five clips that make me LOL, because nothing gets you back on track like a good belly laugh.

First up, a clip of Oprah introducing famous people over the years. From here on out, I shall start greeting everyone who knocks on our door like this:

After the jump, laugh your head off  with a whole lot of dancing. What else?!

Dance like no one is watching

I love this kid so much. His taste in music is impressive, his moves are inspired. This is unbridled joy, I want to spend more time in this place.

This one makes me laugh so hard. You can tell they are not comfortable but everyone goes for it anyway. It’s so heartfelt, I love when people dance unabashedly and from the heart. The feather duster dance tunnel kills  me!

This one, well, it’s one of the funniest things I have ever seen on the internet and that is really saying something. Impossible to pick a best line, but I love: Over-surprised guy!

Teenage Wasteland

This bounced around after John Hughes passing a few months ago. Watching it, I am staggered at how I know these scenes on a molecular level. It’s not that I remember them, it’s that every line, every song, every look is etched on my soul. These are the archetypes of my teenager-hood, I have seen myself in all of these people. They are me, Iare them. By the time the dance montage comes on at the end, I am laugh-crying, because life is so beautiful and painful all at the same time. RIP Mr. Hughes.

Check in later, new music coming up!

We are on the shadow side of the year. It seems like everywhere you look, people are facing the big stuff – health issues, job loss, aging parents, divorce, death. It is a time when we need to reach out, to help carry our brethren along. As I have been reminded during our difficult times, we can not do it on our own. We have to reach out to others.

Taking a meal to friends in need.

I worry about how much stress and strain people are under. I worry that our media overloads us with negativity, violence and degradation. I worry that your living environment discourages relaxation, rejuvenation and healing. We are living too fast, working too hard,  doing too much and spending too much. So as we enter into the shadow side of the year, I want to remind you of how to take better care of yourself and those around you.  Because healing and compassion have to start at home.

Make self care a priority

What do you do for yourself on the worst of days? I really hope you have at least one answer for that question. After a more than a year of working on self care, I can actually list many things that help me on a bad day. What’s more, I actually do them.

I wish more women could say that. It’s not been easy.  I used to put everyone’s needs first and never asked for the time I needed. It left me burnt out and resentful. Now I make myself take the time I need. I have a go-to list of things to do when I need to get out away from the house and kids. But, first and foremost, I’m a bath girl:

A few clarifications from the vid: The Robert Plant / Allison Krauss album Raising Sand is excellent. The other band I was talking about was Röyksopp. You can see why I was hesitant to try to pronounce that one on camera.

Get the family support you need

It’s easy to overlook many of programs and services available to us all. As we have cut back and simplified, most of our family time involves outings to the church, library and YMCA. I know, file this under duh, but I’ll bet you are under-utilizing  many free or almost free services that are very close to home. Between these organizations and the local parks, I can now keep us busy every day of the week in wholesome, positive environments while staying within a three mile radius of our house.

It's fun to stay at the.....

I have to give a special shout out to to our church. When our family faced difficulty, they stepped up in ways I never expected. I was touched by the compassion and support that we were all shown. Churches want to reach out and give families the support they need, the help is there for the asking.

These are not the only options out there, find the organizations that work for you. Check your local parks and recreation, public pools, community centers, and community colleges.  If you are not connecting with people at your church, find a bible study group at a different location or try a different church. Find places as close to home as possible, it will help you get to know the people that live around you. You will drive less, spend less and connect more. Before you know it, you will recognize people at the grocery store and coffee shop. It is a great day when a suburb begins to feel like a tight-knit community.

Reconnect with your partner

It’s so easy to drift apart in a marriage, especially if there are kids involved. Mr. Applebum and I put a lot of energy into  parenting, often there’s nothing left for each other at the end of the day. We know we need to make time for each other, but it just feels like one more thing to add to our to-do list. And for me, it’s hard to start talking about my day in the evening, when it’s time to wind down. I want to have some time with the Mr, but after a long day with the kids, I don’t always want to talk or listen.

Our solution? We watch shows together after the kids are down. Less time commitment than a movie and it’s a great way to have some adult time and unwind before bed.  Some of the series we have watched together:  Red Dwarf, Arrested Development, The Wire, Battlestar Gallactica, and How I Met Your Mother. Lately we are into Glee and The Mightly Boosh. These are all quality shows that we will talk about later or quote to each other at random moments. We could spend hours discussing the Wire and BSG. We love to geek out together or quote a quippy one liners. And let me tell you, it’s wonderful to have something to discuss besides the kids.

An ambassador of compassion and goodwill

Once you have peace and harmony at home, it’s so much easier to extend it to those around you. It’s easy to be kind and generous to those we know and love, I like to focus on spreading compassion and goodwill to the strangers I encounter throughout my day. For me, a good day is when I can do one kind act for another person, whether it is sharing a genuine compliment, a helping hand, or just a much needed smile and “Good  morning.” Small things, but they leave us feeling uplifted and connected rather than ignored and isolated.

And I find the more you reach out to those around you, the better your life will get. It will make you feel better to focus on those who have less and it will bring blessings into your life. Compassion is about the space between us all, the way we are interconnected. It is about treating a stranger as a friend, and a friend as family. We are our brother’s keeper. We must take better care of each other and we must take better care of ourselves.

My goal is always: Less.  I’m forever striving to need less, want less, use less, and waste less. When I was young, we had the book Diet for a Small Planet on the bookshelf. I never read the book, but the title alone conveyed to me that 1) our planet has a limited number of resources for us all to share and 2) individual choices have global impact. These notion have stayed with me, in fact, they have become guiding principles.

I am very aware of the impact my consumption has on the planet.  The truth is, I’m a bit obsessed with garbage. I read an article in Rolling Stone about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch forming in the Pacific Ocean. Twice the size of Texas, this plastic continent is a scary reminder that most of what you have ever thrown away is still with us. It’s not gone anywhere. Think about every piece of plastic you touched today. Last month. In the last 10 years. It staggers me. And it renews my commitment to needing less, wanting less, using less and wasting less.

Needing less

This trend in bulk selling has always felt like the wrong direction. I don’t just mean the Costcos of the world. I mean the fact that everything we purchase is oversized to give the allusion of value. It’s everywhere you look:  giant portions, bulk pricing, buy one, get one half off!  When you  spend more than you planned and buy more than you need, it is not a good deal, you have been up-sold. Don’t feel bad, it’s meant to confuse and befuddle us.

The fact is, we have too many choices. There’s a mind boggling number of options for every consumer decision we make and we spend more time shopping than ever before. It took me 15 minutes to pick out laundry detergent this morning, you need a PhD from Proctor & Gamble University to decode the options. And they make it impossible for you to figure out which is the better value by never allowing you to compare apples to apples.

The whole experience leaves you feeling strangely depressed because after wasting so much time on the decision, you are pretty sure you picked wrong. The only way to win is to quit playing. Reduce the amount of shopping you do, stop shopping at the mega stores and only purchase items on the list that you made prior to coming into the store.

Wanting Less

It’s hard not to constantly want, there is SO MUCH to be had. I have always worked hard to ignore the Joneses, trying to keep up with anyone is a losing game. But still, a friend has a lovely new kitchen that makes mine feel loud and cluttered. And our stroller looks sad and dirty next to the status strollers which seem to have become the must have item of the baby boom. And I lurve fashion, which is a terribly  wasteful industry on so many levels.

What’s harder still is teaching the kids not to have the I wants. They live in this world too, they are subjected to the same manipulation as the rest of us. A few months ago, my son drove a friend’s Barbie car and had the time of his life. He talked about it for months. Before that day, he didn’t even know such toys existed, now he has to understand why he shouldn’t have one. These conversations get old and ridiculous. Last summer, I actually had to explain to him why we don’t need a hot-tub. File that under first world problems.

Using Less

There’s a great lyric from Cake Italian Leather Sofa.

She’s got a serrated edge
That she moves back and forth.
It’s such a simple machine.
She doesn’t have to use force.

When she get what she wants
She puts the rest on a tray
In a zip-loc bag in the freezer.

As mentioned in the previous post, I love the idea of using less force to do more. And perhaps the description is not meant be to be a complimentary, but you have to respect her effectiveness- it’s such a simple machine, she doesn’t have to use force. The second part of the lyric reminds me to only take just what you need. It’s a principal of abundance. Those that need less, will always have enough. Those that need more, will never have enough.

Waste Less

We all know the mantra: reduce, reuse, recycle. We have a great recycling program here in Seattle which gives us a false sense that just throwing it all in the recycle bin is enough. But when I thought about it, I realized that I most of what I was recycling is only being used once: like plastic bottles, plastic bags and paper bags. Recycling is important when it’s time for disposal, but we should be focusing on reducing and reusing first and foremost.

So now I focus on reducing what comes into the house and on finding multiple uses for items before recycling. I am very aware of packaging, the less the better. That’s a huge benefit of shopping on craigslist or buying second-hand, you get to fore-go the excessive packaging that accompanies items that are rarely still in use after a year. I have also started finding multiple uses for items before they go into the recycle bin. For example, I discovered our preschool always needs stuff for art projects, they are glad to have many items that were previously going into our recycle bin.

I am also planning to declare our household completely plastic bag free in 2010. That is, to use reusable shopping bags, not just at the grocery store, but every time we make a purchase. My goal is to personally phase them out. One small act, but really, not. How many plastic bags are under your sink right now?

Plastic Bag Monsters at the Fremont Solstice Parade

What can I say? Just when I thought I was back on track, October laughs and says: Mwah, ha, ha, ha. Our family has faced some stormy weather. Every day has felt like a full moon, like we were all at the mercy of much greater forces beyond ourselves.

My sister always says that when life feels crazy and out of  control, you should get as quiet and still as possible. So as the autumn winds blew chaos into our lives, I put the family into love lockdown. We did only the most essential things and I let go of everything else. The blog had to be suspended. As much as I wanted and needed to write, my family was the priority and they needed me more.  And I’ll be honest, I’ve had some dark days. It was not a place I wanted to broadcast from anyway.

Skeleton Crew

I scaled our lives back to the bare bones. All of the unreasonable expectations and demands I usually put on myself were instantly discarded. On a bad day, getting us out for a bikeride and making dinner was enough. It’s funny that the things I do to help the kids really help me as well. The walk we took to burn some energy off the monkees will end up being the best thing I did for myself all day. The bike rides, trips to the park, family swims — they got us all through some rough days. The exercise and fresh air always help a body and it felt great to handle adversity in a positive way.

I really limited our commitments, I knew we just didn’t have it to give. I kept our days open and kept weekend plans to a minimum. I left the computer off for a day. And then a week. And then it broke for a week, which was a strange twist. It was only then, when it was being repaired and I couldn’t access it, that I really began to miss my on-line life. My beloved blog, my facebook buddies, hulu,  craigslist, jezebel and a renewed love affair with netflix instant view. I am a culture vulture, ya’ll. I’ve missed my media but it was the right thing.

Peaceful Warrior

I focused my energy on maintaining a calm and serene living space, which can only happen if I am calm and serene. As prior posts have mentioned, that is not a natural state for me. I am trying to learn better ways. During this crazy month, when I did have a few hours to myself, I used the time to calm and center myself. I took long hot salt baths or went to a yoga class. I had tea with a trusted confidante or watched shows that make me lol. And as the fear, stress and anxiety crept in, I worked to bless it and then release it. Each time, finding my way back to my calm center.

I began to see myself as a peaceful warrior. I always choose love, but sometimes you have to fight for peace. I enjoy the warrior poses in yoga, they are all about strength and stillness. I love to picture myself flying into battle in the noble warrior 1 position feeling strong and calm, ready for anything.

The mightiest warriors know to use the exact amount of force necessary, no more, no less. You do not want to over-react or under-react. Sounds like a mind like water, que no? And I believe a calm mind precedes a calm body. You can’t have one without the other. Thus the many, many hours of unbelievably hot baths coupled with quiet meditation that have helped keep peace in our home, literally and metaphorically.

A life of ease and well being

I have been listening to Sharon Salzberg Lovingkindness meditation. I have used this metta meditation a lot over the last few months. It’s about creating compassion, first for yourself, then for those around you, then for all living things. The meditation is very simple and it really has worked wonders. Any time I feel my brain reeling and my body tightening, I take slow deep breaths and repeat these four phrases:

May I be free from danger.

May I know mental happiness.

May I know physical happiness.

May I live a life of ease and well-being.

Quiet meditation.

Where have I been? Hard to say. I spent this entire week working on a post to explain it, only to discover it cannot really be shared without sound cheesy or cliché.  I’ve been in a strange sort of limbo since returning from our trip. It is great to be home, we were away a long time and were all ready to get back into our  lives and routines. Yet when we got back, I didn’t want to just jump back to our busy ways. I wasn’t ready to give up that vacation calm and restored sense of faith and purpose.

The trip was magical, it was like the planets were aligned from start to finish. I wanted to honor the experience, reflect on it and cherish the memories that were made everyday we were away. So when we returned home, I kept the slower pace and the extremely stripped down version of our lives. I got the pictures sorted and set up a vacation slideshow on our screensaver.  For weeks, I would see these lovely images and marvel at the whole experience. The vacation gave me such a sense of how far I have come. For two years, I have done a little bit, everyday. And it was marvelous devoting an entire month to celebrating the progress that has been made.

I found myself in Amsterdam

Could be anywhere, but it's Dam square.

In my teens and twenties, I was a traveling mama. By the time I was 25 I had lived in the Netherlands and the Dominican Republic and traveled fairly extensively. Armed with my international business degree and a need to change the world, I had big dreams. And of course, life had different plans for me. My life took some wonderful twists and turns, but international travel was not in the cards. After awhile, I got intimidated by the whole idea — it seemed expensive, extravagant and just too much to plan and put together. If you had told me nine months ago that I was going to the Netherlands with the family, I would have said, “No way, no how.”

But then we made those family goals and listed travel as a family as a priority. For months, I would gaze at the list and wonder what that would look like and if we would really pull it together. The truth is, I had given up on my traveling self. I didn’t think I was that person anymore.

And then the reunion came up and I had a huge incentive (and deadline!) to pull it all together. If I thought about all of it at once- the reunion, the expense,  the travel, bringing the kids- I would get totally overwhelmed. Instead I just chipped away at it. I did a a little bit, everyday. Air tickets, check. Lodging, check. Goofy videos on facebook, check. Rental car, check. And before I knew it, I was doing something I didn’t think possible: traveling internationally. And in the process, I found my way back to a beloved passion and got to share it with my family. I know, right? That’s what we have been celebrating.

A lovely day in Amsterdam.

Don’t worry, mama’s home.

I hope you didn’t think I was gone for good. No way, no how. I am back and with a renewed sense of hope and faith. We are all capable of so much more than we are doing. And there is no time to waste. I’m going there and taking you all with me. Why? Because I see what needs to be done and I’m doing it. Or as Eve puts it: You see, I do what they can’t do, I just do me. 

We’ve been back from our life changing trip to the Netherlands since Friday, but have somehow managed to maintain our post vacation buzz. Perhaps it is because we had such a marvelous time. Or because I am relaxed to the very core of my being. The trip was an amazing success, from start to finish.

We went to the Netherlands for my  international high school reunion. It was a happy accident that we spent our first real family vacation among the dutch, who have evolved holiday into an artform. If you want to learn to vacation, look to the Europeans. And the dutch like to have a good time and access to beer at any time of day, which is something I like in a country.

Reconnecting with my dutch self

Day 1:  Amsterdam

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  I can’t believe how familiar everything feels. Of course the city has grown and changed, but the essential dutchness of it all catches me in the smallest of ways. Driving along the rows of identical brick houses. Seeing the bike paths and all the women biking to work in skirts, tights and heels. Standing in front of the WC, fishing out tiny coins in order to get in, because nobody pees for free.

We find a parking spot near a lyceum, just as classes are about to begin. I watch all the high school kids come careening into the school yard on their bikes, carefully parking in the line of bikes without knocking them all over. It’s so familiar as I watch them remove the bungie cords and pull bookbags off their bike racks. Two professors stand on the balcony above the entrance, holding tiny cups of coffee, watching with subdued curiosity. It is all so familar, my heart jumps. Thus begins the trip no one would believe possible: sometimes you really can go home again.

This is the Netherlands I remember.

Day 3: Reunion

What a great night! We had a record breaking turn-out. It was a bit surreal though. All my insane dancing videos had preceded me. Everytime I would introduce myself to someone, they would say “I know, I’ve seen you on the internet.” They said it with affection, but it was embarrassing. I’m a goofball on-line, where do you go from there?

The party went all night. I got some great time with many dear friends. I rarely reminence, but for the party and the other meet ups with friends, I indulged in hours of remembered stories and incidents. It was touching to reconnect with people who had the shared experience.

4 am baby!

I lived in the Netherlands for only three years of my life. Yet it was ages 16-19 which are hugely influetial years. The dutch and international experiences really shaped my world view and my place within it. And it was such a good environment, it was the first time I really found my people and eventually myself, a good-time loving, smart chick who like to work hard, play hard and see the world. I loved the Netherlands and it loved me right back. It’s no coincidence I ended up in Seattle, it parallels the Netherlands in many ways beyond dreary weather.

Day 7: Eindhoven

The general consensus among guidebooks and the internet is that Eindhoven (the city in which I lived) is the red-headed step child of dutch cities. This is a pretty typical description of my beloved city:

You might wonder why a town the size of Eindhoven only merits a page in a guidebook: half an hour there and a few statistics, will tell you why.

I know, right? It’s no Amsterdam, Hague or even Rotterdam. And it lacks the quaint charm of the smaller cities such as Den Bosch or Maastrict. I guess I love Eindhoven the way I love Las Cruces, it’s a party town with heart. What more could a party girl need?

My favorite Eindhoven moment? Well there are a few. The first came the day after the reunion. I had made plans to meet up with a dear friend the next day. She too, is a party girl, and I really underestimated how much she had been drinking at the reunion when we made the plan to meet up .

The next day, when I showed up almost an hour late, she wasn’t there. Thinking she must have gotten a table in one of the cafes nearby, I start looking for her. No luck. So I start looking for a cell phone store, to get a phone, so I might call her. As I’m looking for the store, I pass a random cafe and hear english. Sure enough, it’s her and some other friends. The best part? She had no recollection of our conversation the night before. I just randomly happened to pass by where they were eating. See? Eindhoven takes care of it’s own.

My peeps.

And as if that wasn’t cool enough, four days later, I was walking through the market square with Mr. Applebum. As we passed yet another cafe, I recognized a familar face. It was one of the recent graduates from our school, who I had met at the reunion.  I couldn’t believe it, I had been away 18 years and then then two times I walk though the city, I find familiar faces. Don’t be fooled by the guidebooks, Eindhoven is a magical place indeed.

Coda:

It’s impossible to convey how much this trip meant to me. I tried so hard to manage my expectations going into it, yet, it surpassed all my best hopes. I needed to reconnect with this part of myself. I needed to crack the code of how to travel internationally with my kids. I needed Mr. Applebum to see what made me who I am. And he did. And he fell in love with the Netherlands as well.

Chillaxin' in Eindhoven

As for the holiday aspect? I have written about how wound tight I am. It’s so hard for me to relax and just stop worrying about everything. On this vacation, I achieved a level of relaxation that I have never know before. At one point as we were driving along during the first week, I realized there was no tension in my body. I have never felt that relaxed to my core. It’s just like I said, the Europeans know how to holiday. And for that, I am most grateful. We will be back, as soon as we can. We know we ought to go to Spain or Italy next time, but we both could go right back to the Netherlands. And we just might.

So I leave for the Netherlands in 5 days. My big international high school reunion is one week and ain’t no party like a my pre- party, cuz my pre-party don’t stop!

So, after the jump, music clips and some more pics. Because Bonita is going on a journey twenty years in the making and I’m taking all of you along for the ride.

Looking back on the eighties is a cringe-worthy experience. Cheesiness in music and fashion abounds! No one comes out unscathed. Check out me in my hella trendy 80’s glasses:

So today we are looking back. It’s not a pretty sight:

In fact, it’s downright scary:

Really really scary, in a vanilla sanitized way.

Looking good for the big dance.

Not that I really have room to talk. I look so rosy cheeked and squeaky clean. Gotta dig the bangles and friendships bracelets stacked up the arm. I guarantee you both of us were wearing swatches.

This was the autumn dance and it was a great party. My American readers would be shocked to know they served beer at our high school functions. Even more interesting to note that the only ones that really overdid it with said alcohol were the Americans. I’m just sayin’.

The dj’s at the dance were fellow students and good buddies. These metalheads  schooled me on the classics and the contemporary of heavy metal: Ramones, AC/DC, Red Hot Chile Peppers, Faith No More, Guns and Roses, Van Halen (Not Van Hagar). They were into Metallica and Megadeath and other such hard stuff, but that’s where I drew the line.  That first year in Holland really felt like rock n roll high school, but then again,  the guy on my left was my prom date that year.

Damn good times.