A little bit, every day

Quiet meditation.

Quiet meditation.

Where have I been? Hard to say. I spent this entire week working on a post to explain it, only to discover it cannot really be shared without sound cheesy or cliché.  I’ve been in a strange sort of limbo since returning from our trip. It is great to be home, we were away a long time and were all ready to get back into our  lives and routines. Yet when we got back, I didn’t want to just jump back to our busy ways. I wasn’t ready to give up that vacation calm and restored sense of faith and purpose.

The trip was magical, it was like the planets were aligned from start to finish. I wanted to honor the experience, reflect on it and cherish the memories that were made everyday we were away. So when we returned home, I kept the slower pace and the extremely stripped down version of our lives. I got the pictures sorted and set up a vacation slideshow on our screensaver.  For weeks, I would see these lovely images and marvel at the whole experience. The vacation gave me such a sense of how far I have come. For two years, I have done a little bit, everyday. And it was marvelous devoting an entire month to celebrating the progress that has been made.

I found myself in Amsterdam

Could be anywhere, but it's Dam square.

Could be anywhere, but it's Dam square.

In my teens and twenties, I was a traveling mama. By the time I was 25 I had lived in the Netherlands and the Dominican Republic and traveled fairly extensively. Armed with my international business degree and a need to change the world, I had big dreams. And of course, life had different plans for me. My life took some wonderful twists and turns, but international travel was not in the cards. After awhile, I got intimidated by the whole idea — it seemed expensive, extravagant and just too much to plan and put together. If you had told me nine months ago that I was going to the Netherlands with the family, I would have said, “No way, no how.”

But then we made those family goals and listed travel as a family as a priority. For months, I would gaze at the list and wonder what that would look like and if we would really pull it together. The truth is, I had given up on my traveling self. I didn’t think I was that person anymore.

And then the reunion came up and I had a huge incentive (and deadline!) to pull it all together. If I thought about all of it at once- the reunion, the expense,  the travel, bringing the kids- I would get totally overwhelmed. Instead I just chipped away at it. I did a a little bit, everyday. Air tickets, check. Lodging, check. Goofy videos on facebook, check. Rental car, check. And before I knew it, I was doing something I didn’t think possible: traveling internationally. And in the process, I found my way back to a beloved passion and got to share it with my family. I know, right? That’s what we have been celebrating.

A lovely day in Amsterdam.

A lovely day in Amsterdam.

Don’t worry, mama’s home.

I hope you didn’t think I was gone for good. No way, no how. I am back and with a renewed sense of hope and faith. We are all capable of so much more than we are doing. And there is no time to waste. I’m going there and taking you all with me. Why? Because I see what needs to be done and I’m doing it. Or as Eve puts it: You see, I do what they can’t do, I just do me. 

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. brian
    Oct 21, 2009 @ 10:10:44

    love it…. welcome home. you’ve been missed!

    Reply

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