Five benefits of divorce

Please know the decision to divorce was a last resort, after we had exhausted every other option.  I was married for eleven years and we went to marriage counseling for the last two years in an effort to keep our family together. I was willing to do anything to preserve the union for the kids, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness. But there came a point when I realized that despite a lot of love, commitment and our best efforts, the marriage was irreparably broken. For those of you who are considering divorce, in the middle of a separation, or facing divorce proceedings, I offer you this light at the end of the tunnel.



God is love and hatin’ is Satan

This song is so up-lifting, it moves me every time I hear it. Murs is a great lyricist with a positive message. I’m making a list of songs that could be  used in youth education and this song definitely makes the cut. If left to their own devices, young people will gravitate toward bad rap music. I just want to show them the good stuff that is out there, beyond the mainstream.

After the jump, some uplifting lyrics from this song and a new video featuring Murs without his dreads. I don’t know when that happened, but he’s a whole new dude.



By the rivers of Babylon

There is something about this song that resonates deep within me. It is a reggae classic, written in 1970, that has been remade many times over by reggae artists, gospel choirs and everyone in-between. This version is by Jimmy Cliff, a reggae legend, and it shows the up-lifting power of the song. It’s a song that is meant to be experienced, I highly recommend you sing along while playing it loudly.

Get away from the bar, tell your boyfriend hold your jar

The 3o hour dance party continues: #30AssShakers30Hours

Dizzee Rascal is deep in the UK grime scene so I’ll let Wikipedia explain him because it’s beyond my area of expertise:

His music is a mixture of UK Garage and hip-hop beats with an extremely broad palette of influences, ranging from metal guitars to drill and bass synth lines, eclectic samples and even Japanese court music. Dizzee Rascal also makes extensive use of un-coupled octuplets and double and triple couplets in his machine-gun-paced staccato lyrics. Like most grime artists, he uses “beats born of ringtones, video games and staticky pirate-radio sounds”[13] Dizzee’s tracks are traditional grime in that the beats are often asymmetrical and make it difficult to dance to his music.

As a dancer, I get that I probably love the songs Dizzee’s hardcore fans loathe. But I don’t care, I like his flow and he is all about the music which is what matters to me.

After the jump, my other two favorites. Because if I’m gonna offend his hardcore fans, I might as well go all the way!


DJ’s think I’m shady cuz they know I’ll steal they wheels

The 3o hour dance party continues: #30AssShakers30Hours

I need more Dilated Peoples in my collection. And I love Tash (from Alkoholiks). He always seems to steal the show everytime he shows up.

Poppa been smooth since days of underoos

The 3o hour dance party continues: #30AssShakers30Hours

I never got into Biggie or Tupac.  But everytime I hear this song, I understand what the big deal was.

I gotta put the monkees to bed, so that’s all I’m gonna say on this one.

Is your style still working for you? Are you sure?

A friend recently complimented my style. It was nice to hear, because I really admire her sense of style as well.  The compliment also meant a lot because after declaring myself a shlumpadinka in 2008, I was nice to see how far I had come.

One reason I was the perfect schlumpadinka storm was because my style in my 20’s had been effortless. I could roll out of bed in college, throw on a white t-shirt, jeans and a ponytail and look pretty good.

Over time, I kept up the habit even though it was not having the same effect. A twenty year old can look slightly sloppy and still be cute, a thirty-something looks washed out and disheveled. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not lamenting my age. I love my 30’s way more than my 20’s, I just had to get real with the sloppy, tired mom staring back at me in the mirror.

This is the first of a two part series on style. After the jump, I’ll talk about how I figured out what wasn’t working with my wardrobe and the few small steps that made a huge difference. Part two will focus on how I went from lost to found. That is, how I found my true style to the point where my look is pretty effortless again, but now I look a WHOLE lot better all of the time.


I heart the Electric Company

Electric Company is so awesome. The little Applebums have just discovered it on Netflix on-demand. And with guest appearances by Common, Nee-yo and Jimmy Fallon (all in one episode no less!) mama loves to watch it with them. This clip featuring Lin-Manuel Miranda is so clever and the flow is killer:

After the jump. some killer clips featuring some hip hop all-stars. And a clip of my favorite character, Danny Rebus. Because seriously, if I could send him a fan letter, I totally would!


Going Euro

I went to Portland on the train over the holidays last year. We caught the bus to the train station and then used all public transit when we got to Portland. In P-town, all of our public transit was free  because we stayed  downtown in the free zone and never left. It was the perfect holiday, with lots of walking, riding and relaxing.

I love ditching the car. It feels great to avoid all the driving, traffic and parking. It’s good for the planet and my health. It sets a good example for the kids and reduces the amount of pollution I put into the atmosphere.  I call it going Euro and it means leaving the car behind whenever possible.

So after the jump, what it means to go euro and tips for getting yourself started in the wacky world of public transit. Because really, you know you should and you’ll be glad you did.


Bonita is mixing for the Lord

I’m making a little music mix for a thank you at the church. Are you scared? Don’t worry, I can keep it clean. If fact I welcome the challenge, I’ve been wanting to make more family-friendly mixes.

My criteria was simple, I picked songs that open my heart and bring tears to my eyes. Good music has a way of doing that, there’s a reason it’s a crucial part of the worship experience. I’ve long used music to uplift and inspire, I’m honored to share some songs that move me and make my heart sing.

After the jump, three more songs to uplift you and bring joy to your soul.


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